So tell me, how high is your threshold of pain? I'll tell you right now, it's not high enough for this. This... this "anime" is beyond any mortal's ability to withstand pain. I've criticized my fair share of anime, but I can find no words to describe just how awful Cosmopolitan Prayers (herein known as CosPrayers) really is. Therefore, I'll go over it piece by piece.

After much deliberation, I've come to the conclusion that the plot is stupid. Well, not really. You see, I managed to figure that out after only the first episode, so it didn't really involve any musing on my part. What we go through when watching this is similar to being lobotomized - while still awake. However, the doctors botched the lobotomy and now we have our brains oozing out of our ears. If you still haven't died after that, you're probably only thinking "just kill me". Yeah, the plot is kind of like that.

CosPrayers basically revolves around the concept of Koto and her scantily clad companions going around and cospraying... *ahem* CosPLAYING, and saving the world at the same time. Our heroines, the CosPrayers, must protect the world from the resurrection of some demon that goes by the name of the Woman of the Night all the while fighting some sort of monsters that have immensely exaggerated parts of the human anatomy (no, not THAT part, you sickos!). I'm not sure what purpose these monsters served, or why one of them had a giant finger, but I think I'd rather not know at this point.

The "bad guys" in the show seemed to serve no purpose other than making sure that there were bad guys in the show. For some reason, they tried to kill the Cosprayers when the Cosprayers were actually helping them and then tried to kill the Cosprayers again for some reason beyond my comprehension. Sometime in between is some sort of bondage ceremony, topped off by a woman in a straight jacket. There also seems to be a tower with a giant tentacle sticking out of its netherregions (with breasts to boot) somewhere in there, but it's all become a giant blob of idiocy at this point.

Now then, with the plot out of the way, let's get down to the technical areas: music, animation, and sound effects. Well, normally I'd call them sound effects, but they all pretty much consist of the girls gasping during their transformation sequences, which I have dubbed the Tennis Racket Orgasmatron. Yes, at one point they fight the "bad guys" with tennis rackets, all the while gasping for air and screaming during the transformation sequences. It's really quite nauseating, actually. The animation actually isn't that bad, but it was difficult to tell if this show was meant to be a fan service drama or just another anime created by people taking too many mind-bending drugs. Some episodes concentrate on one of the girl's panties for many, many seconds at a time (keep in mind most of the girls look less than 5 years old) while others try to create yet another incoherent plot twist.

Surprisingly, the music isn't too bad. The ending theme had me simultaneously snapping my fingers and preparing for the next episode by tying a noose. The opening theme, which is never shown in any of the episodes (but you can get at the official Cosmopolitan Prayers website), made my ears bleed, which complimented the brains oozing out of my ears quite nicely. The rest of the music was pretty blah. It wasn't really remarkably good or bad.

Remarkably, there was something exceptionally good about CosPrayers: the episodes are short. Each episode is actually two 6-minute episodes (for a total of 12 minutes), which helps turn the searing pain into a dull numbness. The titles of the episodes range from somewhat interesting (Red Impact, Yellow Explosion), to breath-takingly horrifying (Virgins in Shining White).

I guess the moral of this whole story is that when you're high on drugs, bondage and S&M are GOOD things. Wait, that can't be right...